From 2001 on why I voted for W

This interesting. I found this on an old hard drive. I wrote it right after 9-11-2001.

I voted for George W Bush in November 2000 similar to choosing a date for a wedding. You know two guys, and aren’t thrilled with either. One of them, however, is probably nice enough but you know by the end of the night you would be watching your watch and wondering who Jay Leno had on. So you choose the other guy.

I chose George W Bush mainly because I couldn’t bear the thought of listening to Al Gore talking to me like I’m an idiot for four years.

I was also dancing with a more conservative philosophy, but that had nothing to do with why I voted for W. I was voting against Al Gore, and not because I hated him. But the thought of him made me nauseous and listening to him irritated me.

I watched with interest W's speeches. Figured he was a good enough guy. And we got along fine for 9 months. Until 9-11.

On 9-11 my initial reation was not to pray for the victims of the horrible attack; it was to pray for W. I thought, “Good God, give this man the wisdom he needs”. And my next prayer was to thank God that it was W and not Al Gore who was the president. I was not certain W knew what to do, but I knew that Al wouldn’t.

I’m not sure that my prayer was answered. I’m beginning to think W didn’t need any wisdom—he had it all along.  

So it was kind of like less-than-enthusiastically choosing a guy for a date to a wedding, and then years later marrying that guy. And then years and years later being ever so grateful you went on that first date.

 

Last picture ... I promise. (Until next year)

A Great Picture!

The above is an official find-the-baby-photo (Lane is way to the right in the arms of a VERY handsome player, Joe is in the back with the trophy). Cade, Cas and Jack are near the front in the bottom right corner.

Mom and dad and Joe at LAX tonight when the mighty victors arrived home to a screaming crowd, cheerleaders, the CSUDH basketball team and, of course, Flanagans to the left and Flanagans to the right. As it should be.

2008 NCAA Soccer Champs! Yeah Toros!

Look close: there's Joe and Lane on the far right, Jack, Cade and Cas down in front! Did you notice that trophy????

3-0 win on Sunday December 7 makes The Mighty Toros the 2008 NCAA champs! Most of the Flanagans watched at Pat and Mike's with mom hiding in the back of the house until the score got to 3-0 and she felt it was safe to watch. Dad never moved from in front of the big screen.

I was in contact with Julie throughout the game via text, we took a picture of all of us in front of the TV and sent it to Julie via cell phone during half time. Maureen in San Francisco, Jonathon in Baltimore and Elle in Pasadena were kept up to date after every goal.

We saw Cade and Jack several times on TV but Cas' exact whereabouts are still a mystery. Joe gave a wonderful interview after the game dedicating the game to J.T., a previous player of Joe's who passed away suddenly and unexpectedly just a few months ago.

Julie is officially the stud of the family; she flew with all four kids on Friday morning for the game against Tampa on Friday night and flew home ahead of Joe early this morning. Did I mention with all four kids? Did I mention alone? With connections? Rumor has it she arrived home earlier today with all four kids but visual confirmation that they are HER kids has not happened.

She'll be back to the airport tonight along with mom and dad, Theresa and girls and Pat to greet Joe and the team coming off the plane.

It was a great weekend that even UCLA's loss couldn't ruin.

Here's a link to the highlights of Friday nights 3-2 win against Tampa. Would love to know who posted on YouTube, Joe and dad would love to see the full game.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uknye4gg8k

From Peter Hitchens

I often wonder what Christmas dinner is like with brothers Peter and Christopher Hitchens. Christopher, if you remember, wrote "God Is Not Great" last year.
Drom London's, "The Mail On Sunday"

November 09, 2008 1:32 AM

"The night we waved goodbye to America ... our last best hope on Earth"

Anyone would think that we had just elected a hip, skinny and youthful replacement for God, with a plan to modernise Heaven and Hell or that, at the very least, John Lennon had come back from the dead.
The swooning frenzy over the choice of Barack Obama as President of the United States must be one of the most absurd waves of self-deception and swirling fantasy ever to sweep through an advanced civilisation. At least Mandela-worship, its nearest equivalent, is focused on a man who actually did something.

I really don't see how the Obama devotees can ever in the future mock the Moonies, the Scientologists or people who claim to have been abducted in flying saucers. This is a cult like the one which grew up around Princess Diana, bereft of reason and hostile to facts.

It already has all the signs of such a thing. The newspapers which recorded Obama's victory have become valuable relics. You may buy Obama picture books and Obama calendars and if there isn't yet a children's picture version of his story, there soon will be.

Proper books, recording his sordid associates, his cowardly voting record, his astonishingly militant commitment to unrestricted abortion and his blundering trip to Africa , are little-read and hard to find.

If you can believe that this undistinguished and conventionally Left-wing machine politician is a sort of secular saviour, then you can believe anything. He plainly doesn't believe it himself. His cliche-stuffed, PC clunker of an acceptance speech suffered badly from nerves. It was what you would expect from someone who knew he'd promised too much and that from now on the easy bit was over.

He needn't worry too much. From now on, the rough boys and girls of America 's Democratic Party apparatus, many recycled from Bill Clinton's stained and crumpled entourage, will crowd round him, to collect the rich spoils of his victory and also tell him what to do, which is what he is used to.

Just look at his sermon by the shores of Lake Michigan . He really did talk about a 'new dawn', and a 'timeless creed' (which was 'yes, we can'). He proclaimed that 'change has come'. He revealed that, despite having edited the Harvard Law Review, he doesn't know what 'enormity' means. He reached depths of oratorical drivel never even plumbed by our own Mr Blair, burbling about putting our hands on the arc of history (or was it the ark of history?) and bending it once more toward the hope of a better day (Don't try this at home).

I am not making this up. No wonder that awful old hack Jesse Jackson sobbed as he watched. How he must wish he, too, could get away with this sort of stuff.

And it was interesting how the President-elect failed to lift his admiring audience by repeated, but rather hesitant, invocations of the brainless slogan he was forced by his minders to adopt against his will 'Yes, we can'. They were supposed to thunder 'Yes, we can!' back at him, but they just wouldn't join in. No wonder. Yes we can, what, exactly? Go home and keep a close eye on the tax rate, is my advice. He'd have been better off bursting into 'I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony' which contains roughly the same message and might have attracted some valuable commercial sponsorship.

Perhaps, being a Chicago crowd, they knew some of the things that 52.5 per cent of America prefers not to know. They know Obama is the obedient servant of one of the most squalid and unshakeable political machines in America . They know that one of his alarmingly close associates, a state-subsidised slum landlord called Tony Rezko, has been convicted on fraud and corruption charges.

They also know the US is just as segregated as it was before Martin Luther King in schools, streets, neighbourhoods, holidays, even in its TV-watching habits and its choice of fast-food joint. The difference is that it is now done by unspoken agreement rather than by law.

If Mr Obama's election had threatened any of that, his feel-good white supporters would have scuttled off and voted for John McCain, or practically anyone. But it doesn't. Mr Obama, thanks mainly to the now-departed grandmother he alternately praised as a saint and denounced as a racial bigot, has the huge advantages of an expensive private education. He did not have to grow up in the badlands of useless schools, shattered families and gangs which are the lot of so many young black men of his generation.

If the nonsensical claims made for this election were true, then every positive discrimination programme aimed at helping black people into jobs they otherwise wouldn't get should be abandoned forthwith. Nothing of the kind will happen. On the contrary, there will probably be more of them.

And if those who voted for Obama were all proving their anti-racist nobility, that presumably means that those many millions who didn't vote for him were proving themselves to be hopeless bigots. This is obviously untrue.

I was in Washington DC the night of the election. America 's beautiful capital has a sad secret. It is perhaps the most racially divided city in the world, with 15th Street which runs due north from the White House the unofficial frontier between black and white. But, like so much of America , it also now has a new division, and one which is in many ways much more important. I had attended an election-night party in a smart and liberal white area, but was staying the night less than a mile away on the edge of a suburb where Spanish is spoken as much as English, plus a smattering of tongues from such places as Ethiopia, Somalia and Afghanistan.

As I walked, I crossed another of Washington 's secret frontiers. There had been a few white people blowing car horns and shouting, as the result became clear. But among the Mexicans, Salvadorans and the other Third World nationalities, there was something like ecstasy.

They grasped the real significance of this moment. They knew it meant that America had finally switched sides in a global cultural war. Forget the Cold War, or even the Iraq War. The United States, having for the most part a deeply conservative people, had until now just about stood out against many of the mistakes which have ruined so much of the rest of the world.

Suspicious of welfare addiction, feeble justice and high taxes, totally committed to preserving its own national sovereignty, unabashedly Christian in a world part secular and part Muslim, suspicious of the Great Global Warming panic, it was unique.

These strengths had been fading for some time, mainly due to poorly controlled mass immigration and to the march of political correctness. They had also been weakened by the failure of America 's conservative party the Republicans to fight on the cultural and moral fronts.

They preferred to posture on the world stage. Scared of confronting Left-wing teachers and sexual revolutionaries at home, they could order soldiers to be brave on their behalf in far-off deserts. And now the US , like Britain before it, has begun the long, slow descent into the Third World . How sad.
Where now is our last best hope on Earth?

P.J. O'Rourke on Charity

Charity is one of the great responsibilities of freedom. But, in order for us to be responsible - and therefore free - that responsibility must be personal.

There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as "caring" and "sensitive" because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that he's willing to try to do good with other people's money. Well, who isn't? And a voter who takes pride in supporting such programs is telling us that he'll do good with his own money - if a gun is held to his head.

When government quits being something we use only in an emergency and becomes the principal source of aid and assistance in our society, then the size, expense and power of government are greatly increased. The decision that politicians are wiser, kinder and more honest than we are and that they, not we, should control the dispensation of eleemosynary goods and services is, in itself, a diminishment of the individual and proof that we're jerks.

Government charity causes other problems. If responsibility is removed from friends, family and self, social ties are weakened. We don't have to look after our parents; they've got their Social Security check and are down in Atlantic City with it right no w. Parents don't have to look after their kids; Head Start, a high school guidance counselor and AmeriCorps take care of that. Our kids don't have to look after themselves; if they become addicted to drugs, there's methadone, and if they get knocked up, t here's always AFDC. The neighbors, meanwhile, aren't going to get involved; if they step outside, they'll be cut down by the 9mm crossfire from the drug wars between the gangs all the other neighbors belong to.

Making charity part of the political system confuses the mission of government. Charity is, by its nature, approximate and imprecise. Are you guiding the old lady across the street or are you just jerking her around? It's hard to know when enough charity has been given. Parents want to give children every material advantage but don't want a pack of spoiled brats. There are no exact rules of charity. But a government in a free society must obey exact rules or that government's power is arbitrary and freedom is lost. This is why government works best when it is given limited and well-defined tasks to perform

Naked Emperor News

Okay. Every night when we sit down at the dinner table (that's every night we sit down; please don't misunderstand we sit down every night, although we do pretty good) the kids have to tell me 2 good things about their day before they can complain about anything, including what's on the plate in front of them.

In keeping with the rule, I have limited myself to one BO complaint per sitting, although Lady MacBeth looking at private schools for the two princesses is now on a 3-day reign. Hypocrisy personified. And don't think confession isn't now needed every time I write a tuition check.

So I DIDN'T need to find this website, because it has given me too much material:

http://www.nakedemperornews.com/

Listen to the podcast about mandatory community service if you want your head to explode.

You'll find this GREAT quote at the top of the website, which is just the encouragement I need to keep ranting:

Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.
—Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Mystery solved on last week's election results

John Ziegler is at it again. This is a movie whose progress will be worth watching:

http://www.howobamagotelected.com/

Watch it and weep.

And then watch this interview of John Ziegler. It's long. It's in-depth. It's interesting. It's worth your time.

A Redefining Moment? For whom?

Regarding: "For black men, a redefining moment?" printed in the LA Times, November 12, 2008.
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-aftermath12-2008nov12,0,7121616.story?track=rss

The election of Barack Obama changed nothing in this country. We woke up on November 5 the same people we were on November 3. For that matter, we are the same country we were in 1996 when a majority would have voted for Colin Powell: namely, a country who will elect a black man for its highest office. It is therefore the perception of white America as racist that should be transformed by the election of Obama.

That having been said, to young African American males like Hakeem Holloway dressed in hoodies and jeans who complain of being eyed by white women, please know that my white, bald-headed son is rightly eyed by women of all colors when dressed in a similar fashion. And I have witnessed women hold their purses more tightly when being approached by my 6'2" white husband.

Women are not reacting primarily to your race; they are reacting to your thug attire.

And to UCLA's dean of public affairs who is queried about being a record producer when he flies first class, wouldn't it be great if we could look forward to better education, and therefore more opportunities and success, being made available to children of all races during Barack Obama's presidency? But with Barack Obama's steadfast rejection of vouchers, I'm afraid we have little improvement to look forward to in that arena.

Christopher Buckley Comes Out of the Closet

I am so disappointed in Christopher Buckley's recent endorsement of BO that I nearly removed my link to the right, "My old man and the Sea". But I re-read it and enjoyed it all over again and am trying not to be petty.

I have read most of what CB has had to say since his endorsement and his - for whatever reason (fired? quit?) - no longer writing for National Review (the magazine his father founded).

From what I can gather, CB is voting for BO not because he believes in any of BO's plans or philosophies on the role of government; instead because he thinks BO has a "first class temperament and a first class intellect." CB is voting for BO hoping that he is smart enough to realize that none of his ideas or plans will be good for America and ... what? Change his mind, I guess. So for the first time I can remember, people are voting for a candidate hoping he DOESN'T keep his promises.

BO doesn't care whether or not his own plans will be good for America. His ideas and plans are held with a religious conviction that reality and evidence will have no hope of changing. While those of us on the right revere "freedom", BO reveres "fairness". You can't have both. BO considers it the role of government to impose fairness through the point of a gun. (If you think "point of a gun" is hyperbole, you haven't been audited lately.) BO believes in using the tax code to make rich people more poor, thereby imposing fairness.

Raising taxes on people and business owners who earn more than $250,000 will make rich people poorer, but will actually REDUCE tax revenue, so by no stretch of the imagination will it make poor people richer. I trust BO's first class intellect has already figured this out. Yet his mind remains unchanged.

But it's watching previously committed conservatives such as CB throw their vote to BO, I now understand why I still have a hard time pulling that lever for Republican and why my immigrant parents NEVER will.

It's that intellectual snobbery and elitism that people like my parents and me have a knee-jerk negative reaction to. With the rejection of Mac and SP by Christopher Buckley and voting instead for the candidate with the "first class intellect" I realize that he and his ilk value intellect over principles. There are only principled arguments, and certainly no intellectual reasons, to reject abortion, take care of old people beyond their usefullness and .... dare I say it, carry a Down Syndrome baby to term, so it's obvious to me that one's principles are more important than one's intellect.

In other words, I'd rather have a leader with principles against all the above than a leader described thusly by David Brooks of the New York Times, when fantasizing about a BO presidency: Though he is young, it is easy to imagine him at the Cabinet table, leading a subtle discussion of some long-term problem.

Frankly, I can't imagine Mac or SP leading any sort of discussion that is "subtle". But I have no problem imagining both of them doing their best to keep me and my family safe. And intuitively, Mac and SP both understand the following, written by one of America's favorite intellectuals:

To take from one, because it is thought that his own industry and that of his fathers has acquired too much, in order to spare others, who, or whose fathers have not exercised equal industry and skill, is to violate arbitrarily the first principle of association, ‘the guarantee to every one of a free exercise of his industry, and the fruits acquired by it.’ (Thomas Jefferson)

From Thomas Jefferson to Joe the Plumber, Americans understand that the citizens of this great country are not only best equiped, but the only ones morally capable to "spread the wealth".

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.

President Ronald Reagan

Donate to Planned Parenthood in Sarah Palin's Name

While trolling around Facebook recently I found an organization called "Donate to Planned Parenthood in Sarah Palin's Name". (at the end of this post I have a cut and paste describing the organization)


This group is encouraging college students to make a monetary donation to Planned Parenthood in the name of Sarah Palin; Sarah Palin will then get a thank you card from an organization she does not support for a donation she did not make.



I DO NOT support abortion and I think Planned Parenthood is a travesty and quite-often criminal organization. But that is not the point of my post here. My point is to discuss the degradation of the manner in which we handle our disagreements.


My Sarah Palin "sticker" was purposefully manufactured as a magnet as it was assumed I would need to remove it when parking the car to avoid theft. While I have not had that experience, Elle has. (Note, she is parking near a lot more college students than I am.)


I have seen the T-Shirts proclaiming "Sarah Palin is a C***" and various claims that she should have been aborted.


I have NOT seen any misbehavior which sinks anywhere near this level with the "anti-Obama" crowd. If anyone has, I would like to hear about it.


So why is it college students, liberals and Pro-Obama folks are so confident that they are "right" that bad manners sinking to this level is considered acceptable? I am supposed to be "tolerant" ... where is the tolerance of me and my beliefs by those on the left? Where is the tolerance of Sarah Palin and her choices?


Sarah Palin is attacked because she had the audacity to carry to term a Downs Syndrome baby. Had she aborted that baby, all the way to her 8th + month, she would be defended and celebrated by you on the left and you on college campuses.


You on the left have finally shown your true cards: You are NOT pro-choice (as you have claimed since the 70's). You are PRO-ABORTION. And intolerant to the point you feel justified in near-criminal behavior against those who feel differently.


Those of you who are donating to Planned Parenthood on behalf of Sarah Palin ... how would you feel if I donated to my church on your behalf? To a support-the-troops organization? To a bible camp for needy children? To missionaries trying to bring the word of God to the world? To an organization dedicated to California's Prop 8 passing so that marriage remains one man/one woman? To an amendment to the Constitution demanding that you actually have a job and pay taxes before you get to vote?


Let me know which organization offends you the most so I know where to send my money.


p.s. You college students who are so adament in your support of Planned Parenthood, aren't you glad your parents weren't as enthusiastic as you about abortion?

I know we're all doing our part to spread the word to like-minded friends about how horrible a choice Sarah Palin is for the office of Vice President. We're joining groups. We're forwarding emails. We're even writing letters. Instead of, or perhaps in addition to, all these avenues of nearly-passive protest, I'm suggesting that we participate in the subversively ironic act of making a donation to Planned Parenthood in Sarah Palin's name. It can be as little as $10, but the best part is, when you make a donation to Planned Parenthood in her name, they'll send her a card telling her a donation was made in her honor. You're also giving to a good cause and getting a tax deduction. You can donate in the "Honorary Donations" section of the Planned Parenthood website: https://secure.ga0.org/02/pp10000_i nhonor You'll need to fill in the address to let PP know where to send the "in Sarah Palin's honor" card, and the best address to use would be the national McCain/Palin campaign headquarters: McCain for President 1235 S. Clark Street, 1st Floor Arlington , VA 22202 P.S. Be sure to use the link above or choose "Honorary or Memorial Donations," not the regular "Donate Online," or you won't be able to let her know that you care. I'm not the one that came up with this genius idea, but I thought it was well worth passing on. Invite your friends, please.

Sarah Palin buying diapers at Walmart

Who wants to bet she had a coupon??? I don't know why my mom doesn't love this chick!

Reconciliation???? I don't THINK so!

From the October 14, 2008 Los Angeles Times:

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/editorials/la-ed-polarization14-2008oct14,0,780904.story

And here is my email response, sent to the only person I know at the LA Times, who shall remain nameless:

Hey ***. I hope all is well.

I just finished reading today's editorial; I think you wrote it but I'm not sure. Since you are the only person I know at The LAT, you are getting the email.

Since even the Secret Service did not hear the "cry from the crowd ... for a death of a political opponent" I am not quite sure who is "reeling". While it was heard by a few, those who heard it are pretty sure the call was in regard to Bill Ayers; not Barrack Obama. And how is Sarah Palin inaccurate by claiming BO "pals around with terrorists"? Even Bill Ayers does not deny his role in domestic terrorism; why does The Times?

I was at the Sarah Palin rally several weeks ago and watched the crowd and SP handle several hecklers with grace and dignity. The BO protestors outside were obscene, rude and vile. I do not hold BO responsible for the actions of his supports; why does The Times hold John McCain responsible for some of the misbehavior of his supporters?

I have read nowhere in your paper about the protestors I have seen, nor the lovely picture circulating on the Internet with four people wearing T-shirts proudly proclaiming "Sarah Palin is a C***." Let alone the audio today of BO explaining to the plumber why some of his wealth needs to get spread around. I am personally more offended by calls of wealth distribution than swear words.

The point of the editorial is asking who can bring us together, so I will end here without discussing Joe Biden or whether "drill baby drill" is polarizing and vulgar (since when did The Times get the vapors so easily?)

But trust me, The Times is certainly not helping us find common ground by printing inaccuracies. And, frankly, I have lost hope for a reconciliation. But I will tell you this: the only people I see screaming at their political opponents are Democrats screaming at McCain supporters. Anecdotal? Yes. I think you're right that if BO wins there will be less acrimony, but that's because the people doing all the screaming right now will have nothing to scream about.

Anne Yenny

p.s.I have a perfect way to test this, by the way. Have some BO supporters walk through a largely McCain crowd like the McCain supporters in Manhattan (surely you've seen the video) and count the birds they get flipped. Or I will park my car with McCain and Palin stickers on it in BO territory while you park yours with BO stickers in McCain territory. Me thinks I am taking the bigger chance.

There is no crisis ... NOT!

Shocking Video Unearthed Democrats in their own words Covering up the Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac Scam that caused our Economic Crisis

From Victor Davis Hanson

I don't pretend to understand what's going on. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, however, strike me as the worst of all worlds: private market in the way that they're run, government in the way that they fail. Who knew they were making contributions to campaigns????

The following is from Victor Davis Hanson:

I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here! " [Victor Davis Hanson]
Very odd to see a Sen. Chris Dodd, of all people, today defiant and outspoken in his regard for the people:

if only he had returned (never too late) lavish contributions from Freddie Mac and Frannie Mae (as Senate banking chairman, he was their #1 targeted recipient and raked in over $160,000);

if only in the midst of a loan crisis, he had not received below-market-rate VIP loans from the now late great, melted-down Countrywide for whose parochial interests he championed;

if only he had not been instrumental in blocking past proposed firewalls that might have prevented the collapse of the two agencies that were the catalyst for this mess;

if only he had a bit of contrition for his own role in this national mess.

Surely in the interest of transparency and conflict of interest, any Senator, Republican or Democrat, who accepted money from Freddie and Frannie, or any of the imperiled investment houses, should recuse themselves from the present hearings—but then there might not be a quorum.

Whatever your politics, this is funny.

An email from Ireland to all of their brethren in the States...a point to ponder despite your political affiliation:

'We, in Ireland, can't figure out why you people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States.

On one side, you had a pants wearing female lawyer, married to another lawyer who can't seem to keep his pants on, who just lost a long and heated primary against a lawyer, who goes to the wrong church, who is married to yet another lawyer, who doesn't even like the country her husband wants to run !

Now...On the other side, you have a nice old war hero whose name starts with the appropriate 'Mc' terminology, married to a good looking younger woman who owns a beer distributorship !!

What in God's name are ya lads thinkin over in the colonies !

McCain

A "confused" email

Following is a cut and paste of my response to a Pro-Obama email I received. The italics are from the original email, regular font is my response. I have been trying to figure out what is bothering me about this email. That fact that someone wrote it is no big deal, but this email had been sent and forwarded at least 10 times before I got it. 10 people looked at this list of poorly written non sequiturs and thought it was making a case for what?

Frankly, the only case it makes is the desperate need for educational vouchers in this country.

Let's see if I can clear up some of the confusion for you:

* If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim. Name your kids Willow, Trig, and Track: you're a maverick.

Since I've never heard Barack referred to as "unpatriotic", no response there. I have referred to him as a radical, but that has everything to do with the company he keeps.

The Palins chose very weird names for their children; so what? Had she chosen to abort them, the left would defend her.

Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable. Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating:you're well grounded.

Where or whether you went to college has nothing to do with whether you are unstable or well grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

Well, I guess we need to define "brilliant" then define "leadership". Typically, leadership requires responsibility and achievement. Frankly, as a mother of four navigating the waters of 4 different high schools, 3 colleges (so far), a grade school, boy scouts, girl scouts, football, rugby, soccer, the Navy, traffic school, various insurance companies and the DMV, responsibility and achievement have been requirements.

We all know enough professors and enough politicians to realize that we, as parents, exhibit more leadership on a daily basis than most of them do in a lifetime.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian. If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

Once again, I've never heard BO referred to as not a "real Christian"; so no response needed. The only time I have heard BO's religion questioned is when we were all treated to audios of some of the anti-American and hate-spewed sermons he sat through in those 20 years.

What the beauty of his children have to do with anything is beyond me.

John McCain is certainly no saint but I think we would all be better served by leaving the judgment of whether or not he's a "Christian" up to God. I can only assume that God will take into account John McCain's sacrifice for Country, sacrifice for fellow inmates in the Hanoi Hilton, and his adopted daughter.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society. If , while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant , you're very responsible.

Cheap shot. I have a daughter, so I'm not saying a word. But once again, I think we have a definition problem. Who defines "responsible, age appropriate sex education"? News flash: It ain't you. So when someone decides your kindergartner needs education in sex and AIDS prevention, don't be shocked.

And no one has claimed the Palins are responsible because their unwed teenage daughter is pregnant, they are responsible because ... well, because they are taking responsibility. The mother and father of the baby are getting married, they are managing with the support of their families and not the government.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's. If you're husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DUI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

Well, since neither my husband nor I went to Harvard nor worked for a prestigious law firm I guess I'm not qualified to opine here. My only work for the betterment of the inner city is trying to pay Catholic tuitions for 4 children in the hope that none of my children will ever be residents there.

My husband went to more than one college, I didn't go to any. We have four children of various abilities. I pray A LOT. There aren't enough hours in the day for me to worry as much as I need to about how they will turn out. I worry more about them getting into heaven than whether they will get into Harvard.

So, in conclusion: this is a very important election. We will all be making the choice that we think is best for our families and our country. Let's each give each other the benefit of the doubt and assume we all want the same thing; we just disagree on the best way to get there.

Making ad hominum attacks on the candidates and making rediculous straw man arguments does no one any good and certainly does nothing to make your case. And if that's what you need to do to justify the guy you're voting for? I'd suggest rethinking that vote.

Sincerely,

Anne

Edits from Gibson / Palin interview

I watched the first part of the interview which was televised Thursday night. I thought Sarah Palin did fine and Gibson was an insufferable prick.

I was digging around on the internet to read a transcript of the interview and found this from Mark Levine.

I am impressed by Sarah Palin, thought the interview went well, but now reading the transcript I am even more enthusiastic at the thought she might be one of our leaders. Pissing off the media, and specifically Gibson, will be icing on the cake.

If you get a chance, check out the transcript:
http://marklevinshow.com/gibson-interview/

The best sermons are not preached; they are lived.

"She was put on earth to kick butt and kill caribou. She's all out of caribou."

Summer's Over : Time to focus on the election

We had a rare opportunity to hear John McCain speak on Monday night. His speech was great and he gave Elle such a hearty handshake that JY says had it been Bill Clinton he would have punched him.

The only pics I got were from my phone, so I'm not sure if any of them will be good enough to post.

I FINALLY met John Ziegler, who used to be an evening talk show host on KFI. He has made a documentary called Blocking The Path to 9-11.

You can read about John here. I don't know whether the movie will play locally so I've ordered the DVD.

Blocking the Path to 9-11 will be shown in Orange County on 9-11-08; you can order tickets here.

I had been counting on watching The Path to 9-11 by Cyrus Nowrasteh via DVD since we don't have cable. The DVD release has been delayed by Disney, many think because of pressure from the Clintons. There is a horrifying clip of Harry Reid threatening to pull Disney's broadcast licence for broadcasting the mini series.

Blocking the Path to 9-11 is about the delay in DVD release.

Anyone as excited as me about John McCain's pic for VP? This quote alone from Sarah Palin seals the deal for me:

And your stand on abortion?

I'm pro-life. I'll do all I can to see every baby is created with a future and potential. The legislature should do all it can to protect human life.

Of course, the fact that she is the mother of 5 convinces me she has all the experience necessary in diplomacy.

Summer 2008

I know that technically we have several weeks of summer left, but Jonathon left yesterday, Nate begins school on Wednesday and Alix leaves for Berkely on Saturday, so I officially declare Summer 2008, with all the requisite hand wringing and depression, OVER.

Check out the slideshow to the right of pictures taken and the End Of Summer 2008 BBQ at the Yennys

Hi Aunt Ann

Hi Aunt Ann: Like I said, this is for you!

Here is one of the pics from last night.

Love to all,

Anne

Back from Yosemite

The Flanagan Clan has returned from Yosemite, so it is safe to visit there once again.

We had a great week "in the dirt", as it were. One incredible rain storm (which certain Flanagans suffered through at the Ahwahnee). Two days spent drifting down the Merced in inner tubes, another visiting Glacier Point and Taft Point.

No "Flanagan Death Marches" to Half Dome or Yosemite Falls this year; a combination of one generation aging and the next recovering from knee surgery (both Jonathon AND Conor).

Joe joined us for a couple of days with his three oldest kids (Cade, Cas and Jack); so for a couple of nights the only Flanagans missing were Julie and new baby Lane. Who, no doubt, were in the South Bay enjoying light traffic since so many residents were in Yosemite.

As always, a week is not enough, but it was nice to get home to a hot shower that wasn't a bike ride and a $5.00 charge away.

Gun Rights

In honor of the SCOTUS, who got it right:

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote!

Ben Franklin

More Advice for Alix and Elle

To Alix and Elle, and Jonathon and John Sam, too. For that matter ... Taylor, Conor, Nate, McKenna, Sam, Cade, Kiley, Meghan, Cas, Jack and a baby to be named later: TAKE HEED!


This speech, also known as “The Eleven Rules of Life,” has been widely attributed to Bill Gates, but it’s actually part of educator Charles Sykes book, Dumbing Down our Kids.

RULE 1 Life is not fair - get used to it.

RULE 2 The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

RULE 3 You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice president with fancy car until you earn both.

RULE 4 If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure.

RULE 5 Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger-flipping. They called it Opportunity.

RULE 6 If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes: learn from them.

RULE 7 Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forestf rom the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

RULE 8 Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

RULE 9 Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

RULE 10 Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually go to jobs.

RULE 11 Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

And on a personal note, my darling children, nieces and nephews: Be nice to your parents (and your aunts and uncles, too). They not only love you, they own the garage you may someday find yourself living in.

Last Trumpet Article, May 2008

I learned everything I needed to know at Holy Angels

Being a parent is hard. The only thing harder is being a teacher.

The only thing worse than dropping your child off at Holy Angels for Pre-K is watching them leave Holy Angels for high school.

The shortest distance between two points quite often leads to the principal’s office.

The 11th Commandment: thou shalt fundraise!

Science projects are the pre-teen equivalent to labor. Necessary, but unpleasant. And usually too long.

If your kid won’t tell you what’s going on in school, expand your carpool until you get a chatty kid (take it from me: 6th grade girls, that don’t belong to you, fulfill this role admirably).

The parking lot is the worst (but most entertaining) source of information of what’s going on at Holy Angels.

No matter how early you check out the summer reading books, the book report will be done in a panic the night before school starts.

Time spent helping with homework in the lower grades should be enjoyed! I look back fondly on the math years, pre-algebra, when my self-righteous indignation about homework not-yet-done could be followed up with help.

Time is liquid. Before your children go to school, the day seems endless. Once they start school, the day flies by. And the years …

I have enjoyed working on the Trumpet all these years and thank you for sharing my trials and tribulations. The Trumpet is ending at the perfect time; all four of my children are teenagers and it’s getting harder and harder to find comedy in such tragedy.

Congratulations Elle and Alix!

Elle graduates from Alverno on June 7, Alix graduates from Torrance High on June 18.

Graduation party is at the Leightons' on June 15, where we will also be celebrating Fathers Day.

Jonathon recovering from knee surgery

Above is Jonathon with some fellow mids; Mike (Doughboy), Jonathon's roommate from NMMI, is on the far right.

Here's Jonathon on crutches making his way through downtown Annapolis to see Herndon at USNA. The apartment we rented was in the Historic District and just perfect ... for everyone except Jonathon, who had to negotiate a flight of stairs everytime we had to leave.

This was my view for 2-1/2 hours + as the Plebes attempted to scale Herndon. Which they finally did, largely thanks to the rugby team (sans Jonathon), which was the bottom layer of the pyramid. We were out to dinner with some of the team after the event and were regaled with stories of feet and toenails in the face. There is a nice YouTube movie which a parent put together of the event here; the event was dedicated to a Plebe who died just a week before Herndon.

Quote from Winston Churchill

"If you will not fight for the right when you can easily win without bloodshed; if you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly; you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a small chance of survival. There may even be a worse case: you may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves."

Favorite Cartoon

"The crowd is only here because they're bitter and the gun shops are closed."

OH SCIENCE, OH JOY

(written in the Spring of 2007)

As the parents of four past and present Holy Angels students, JY and I are hardened veterans of about 17 science projects. Some of the more memorable:

Phosphorescence in nature (Jonathon and Dean had some glow-in-the-dark pens they were dying to use. And use them they did. Ever seen a glow-in-the-dark Labrador? Trust me, you don't want to.)

The effects of various music genres on plants. (The plant survived five weeks of Rage Against the Machine, but mom was definitely feeling ill effects. And mom didn't care that the plant listening to Rage grew at the same rate as the one listening to Bach; not everything can be explained by the scientific method.)

How to slow down the rotting process in meat. (You can only imagine the cooking adventures during THAT couple of weeks. Sadly, I don't remember any special purchases made; I think we had everything on hand.)

Why do cats land on their feet? (Thankfully, no actual cats were used during this experiment, because I can almost guarantee they would have been harmed. As I remember, after weeks of research, the conclusion was that cats land on their feet because they have four feet and no hands.)

So, this year JY entered the Science Project arena with nerves of steel. On Saturday I was distracted by the demands of high school admission by one child and college admission by another and had no choice but to delegate to JY the supervision of Sam and his project: How To Get Electricity from a Citrus Fruit.

On a side note: Do any of us really care how to get electricity from a citrus fruit? My ideas for a project this year were: How do you get cash from a turnip? Why does the day from 8:00 am to 3:00 am last about 15 minutes? How do you cancel Internet service from a provider you haven't used in years? Why do two matching socks go in the hamper and only one come out of the dryer? Is there some ancient sock graveyard somewhere? If global warming is such a threat, why was my heating bill $250 last month? What kind of database does Blockbuster have that they can track me down when I am one hour late returning a movie?

So I abandoned the home to JY and Sam on Saturday with the specific instruction to KNOCK IT OUT. Sam doesn't lack many things; in fact, he has an abundance of most qualities. Focus, however, is usually in short supply.

They were left with a computer with enough RAM to put man on the moon, a high-speed Internet connection, a past-due library book, thousands of dollar's worth of colored pens, five oranges now worth about $10 each, copper wife, glue, tape and the most important item: three-fold board.

Hours later I returned to the home to find the entire family, including the dog, sprawled on the couch watching a past-due rented copy of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (the good one with Robert DeNiro and Kenneth Branagh).

There was an impressive amount of paper scraps and mess in the dining room and an almost-blank three-fold board with the word "citrus" misspelled.

Now, on one hand, since electricity was involved I was relieved the house was still standing. Still, I demanded an explanation on the lack of progress.

The only explanation given was that "one man's inspiration is another man's distraction". It seemed that JY thought that since Sam was lacking interest in citrus fruit and electricity, maybe the movie Frankenstein, with its theme of bringing the dead back to life using electricity would inspire him.

In reality, I think they are all more afraid of Blockbuster than they are of me. Oh, joy.

ESSENTIALS FOR THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED

(This was written in March 2000 after a friend and I went on what turned out to be a 12-hour hike. I insist we were simply "late"; those involved in the search and rescue insist we were "lost" and eventually "rescued".)

1) The first essential must be addressed long before (possibly years) you strap on your shoes. Make sure you marry someone who is: a) so confident in your abilities that he refrains from panic; and b) has a creative vocabulary; ie substituting the word "adventuresome" for "stupid" and "determined" for "stubborn".

2) Also important before any endeavor: pick your neighborhood wisely. A neighbor willing to instruct police on trails and roads and strap on a water bag and flashlight on a moment's notice is beyond description in its value.

3) It is essential to one's peace of mind that another neighbor is willing to man phone calls, mind babies and send the appropriate prayer skyward. Knowing that you are cared for comes with the responsibility of not needlessly worrying said neighbor, so read your map carefully.

4) The importance of one's running mate is the most important issue when dealing with the quality of the experience. Try to run with someone who never reminds you that the harebrained "shortcut" that cost you two hours was your idea. Also make sure your partner has had either a very interesting life or has the ability to make the recounting of a boring life somewhat entertaining. Sure, the scenery is beautiful, but there is nothing like a fine partner to pass the time.

5) Try your adventures only in towns that have a low crime rate. That way when you apologize to the police for causing so much trouble, they thank you for breaking the monotony. They may very well have said that just to make us feel better, in which case I say "Thank you, you did, indeed, make us feel better."

6) Make sure that all items taken with you are treated as community property,. Such things as water, knee braces, aspirin and good cheer are to be shared without hesitation.

7) Do not choose the date for your adventure on the same day you have dinner plans with friends. And if you do have dinner plans, make sure it is not with: a) people you are planning to know for the rest of your life; and / or b) people that will take every opportunity for the rest of your life to remind you of dinner reservations missed, worry caused and the goofiness of some ideas.

8) If the end of the trail is in sight and you accept a ride from the police that were looking for you, you will be forever described as having been "rescued". Take my word for it: limp those last 100 yards if you have to.

A YENNY FOR PRESIDENT?

(written February 2008)

There was recently an email floating around claiming that everyone had one of the personalities from Gilligan's Island. For those of you too young to remember the TV show Gilligan's Island, trust me, you didn't miss much. It was kind of like "Survivor" without the good acting.

But it got me thinking of the distinct personalities of our presidential candidates and how each of them remind me of one of my kids. The more I thought about it, the creepier it got. Kind of depressing that my children reminding me of presidential candidates is "creepy" rather than inspiring, but oh well. It could be worse: my kids could remind me of someone from "Friends".

Jonathon is John McCain without the military skills or POW experience. However, John McCain did once smash his face with a stool to prevent a picture of him being used for propaganda purposes. Jonathon wouldn't hesitate to use the same technique to avoid being used as propaganda by his mother in the annual Christmas card. I am convinced that's why he plays rugby.*

Elle is not amused by any comparison to Hillary, but one can't help but notice their tenacity. Both share an uncanny ability to get what she wants regardless of reasons why she shouldn't get it. And the ability to spin a mistake into a reason why she should be trusted more, not less.

Barack and Nate share a certain joie de vivre. Both are likable and pleasant and are pretty good at saying the right thing at the right time. Each conversation ends with a warm, fuzzy feeling, but an inability to remember what the conversation was actually about.

When it comes to endearing quirkiness, it's hard to find better examples than Sam and Ron Paul. Both are absolutely certain that world domination is not only achievable, at some point it's inevitable. It's just a matter of waiting for everyone to reach the same conclusion.

And I'll end my comparisons here before someone notices that JY and Huckabee share a folksy charm. Because that will lead to the inevitable comparison of me to Dick "Darth Vader" Cheney.

*Jonathon has since corrected me. It was Vice Admiral James Stockdale that smashed his face with a stool; not John McCain. Oh well. 3 out of 4 ...

HOW I SPENT MY CHRISTMAS VACATION

(written January 2008)

Mr. C was kind enough to give us an update on how he spent his Christmas vacation at his world-famous blog, http://holyangelasarcadia.blogspot.com/, so I thought I would do the same.

My oldest, Jonathon, on Christmas break from college, graced us with his presence for about three weeks. Upon arrival, he managed to double the food bill and the laundry load while spending most of his time on his cell phone or in the car.

My second-oldest, Elle, got her driver's license TWO days before he arrived home (can you spell passive-agressive???)

16 years ago, conversations (if you can call them that) in our house went like this:

It's my turn!
No, it's not
You have to share! Mom says you have to share!
Mom says it's my turn.
No she didn't. She says it's my turn.
I'm calling dad. Mom always takes your side.
She does not! She told me she doesn't even like me!

Conversations in our house over Christmas vacation this year went like this:

It's my turn for the car! I just got my license and it's my turn!
No way. I've been gone for six months; you can drive it when I'm back at school.
That is SO not fair. You've had your license for TWO YEARS! I get the car now!
Not a chance.
It's FINALLY MY TURN!
You can drive it later when I don't need it.
When is that?
I don't know. Whenever.
Where are you going?
I don't know, but I'm going somewhere. And when I go somewhere, I need the car.
I'm telling mom.
Good luck finding her. She took off in her car two hours ago.
I'm calling dad. Mom always takes your side.
She does not! She told me she doesn't even like me!

There's more laundry, the food bill is bigger, God knows the gas bill is bigger, but things around here haven't changed all that much.

1999 CBI GOLF TOURNAMENT CHARGES & RESPONSE

(events of the 1999 Clark Brothers Tournament, following is an email addressed to JY)

To All:

The CBI Executive Subcommittee on Conduct, the same watchdog organization that issued the Holliganism warming at Poppy Ridge in 1998, has formally requested a review of the behavior of JY during the recently concluded tournament at Anaheim Hills. The Executive Subcommittee is recommending disciplinary action be levied against Mr. Y. The following are the list of charges brought against Mr. Y. All events occurred during or immediately after the event on August 21st.

1) Disparaging Remarks Against a Selected Tournament Venue

It was reported that while on the 15th tee box, the highest point on the course, Mr. Y walked to the front edge of the box, and with arms spread wide proclaimed loudly, "This course is my bitch!"

2) Disparaging Remarks Against a Tournament Participant

It was reported that after the round, while waiting for the other groups to finish, Mr. Y engaged in abusive and foul language against Mr. Wheelock, his partner during the round. While many close to Messrs. Y and W realize this type of discourse is common, other unknowing tournament participants were visibly offended by many of his comments to the degree that they were reported to the tournament executive subcommittee.

3) Excessive Loud Cursing

It was reported that after the round whilst waiting for the other groups to finish, Mr. Y engaged in repetitive, extremely loud cursing. While the tournament does not look down on cursing in the proper amount and fashion, Mr. Y went well beyond the appropriate level.

4) Vomiting During the Awards Ceremony

It was reported and the results later seen, that during the awards ceremony Mr. Y, with a total lack of regard to the visibility of his actions, regurgitated on the patio immediately outside the banquet room. This action was done in plain view and to the disgust of many tournament participants. This sudden retching spew was obviously the result of over four hours of abusive, heavy drinking. While the tournament does not discourage the consumption of alcoholic beverages, it is considered proper form to be able to control yourself and the amount you consume. Mr. Y obviously showed no regard to this, and showed a considerable amount of disrespect to the tournament as well as the facility by not removing himself to the appropriate area to relieve himself of his bodily toxins.

I would appreciate it if Mr. Y would care to respond to his version of these charges, after which the tournament Directors will vote on the necessary disciplinary action needed, if any. If Mr. Y elects to seek legal counsel, then he may designate another individual to submit his plea for him.

Mr. Y has 7 days to respond, after which time if no response is received he is determined to be guilty and the Directors will then place their votes. Disciplinary action can range from Tournament Censure in the mailer to suspension from future events.

Regretfully,
C Clark
Chairman
Clark Brothers Tournament Golf

And Mr. Y's response, dated 8-31-1999

To all:

I apologize for the delay in my response to the outrageous charges directed towards me, but I have been struggling with extreme depression and have had difficulty coping with the shock of your accusations. These charges are an egregious miscarriage of justice and have compelled me to seek both legal and psychological counseling.

At this time I feel it is appropriate to address each of your spurious charges point by point:

1) Disparaging Remarks Against a Selected Tournament Venue

Okay, so I said it. But I don't feel this was a particularly disparaging comment. It was a beautiful course, in great shape, but by this point in the tournament it was obvious that our team was having its way with Anaheim Hills. She wanted it bad and we gave it to her.

2) Disparaging Remarks Against a Tournament Participant

This is ridiculous. Anyone who has ever been associated with Perry W can certainly appreciate the fact that there are no remarks disparaging enough to reflect his complete lack of both moral character and personal hygiene. All remarks made by me regarding Mr. W were both accurate and insightful. The only participants that could have been offended by the start frankness of my observations could be those limp-wristed puffs from up north (near the GAY BAY).

3) Excessive Loud Cursing

At no point during this period of the tournament did anyone approach me with complaints regarding either my behavior or my vocabulary. I do admit that I may have been more enthusiastic in my commentary than other participants but this stems from the fact that I was a CHAMPION; they were all LOSERS.

4) Vomiting During the Awards Ceremony

I have been advised by my attorneys (Mr. M Young, esq and Mr. F Gleason, CHAMPION), that I must refrain from discussing the details relating to this charge as this is an area where we feel litigation is the only remedy.

I was obviously the victim of food poisoning.

Toxicological tests have conclusively determined that the sandwich I ate at the tournament was made with contaminated mayonnaise. It was ironically only by virtue of great intestinal fortitude that I was able to suppress my urge to spew until after the competition. The sight of whatever that was being served for dinner was more than my ravaged constitution could stand and I had to remove myself from the immediate dining area and evacuate my system. I admit that Emily Post no doubt frowns on such visible displays but it was an emergency born of necessity.

The most heinous and malicious of your charges are those that imply I may have been involved in excessive drinking. All alcohol that my teammates and I imbibed were administered strictly out of a sense of fair play. It was obvious from our first tee shots that we were about to completely outclass the field. Although I am by nature a tee-totaler, I felt that it was important to allow the rest of the champion-wanna-be's to feel that they were in the running.

It is incredibly painful to have my gallant effort to level the playing field described as "over four hours of abusive, heavy drinking". The spectacular display of golfmanship by teammates and I, even though impaired, is the stuff of legend.

So you can boot me out of your tournament, you can slander and defame me until the cows come home, but you will never break me.

Because I will always know that on that sunny, wind-swept day in August 1999, I and three of the game's finest stood together against all odds and emerged CHAMPIONS.

Defiantly, unrepently, yours,
JEY
CBI 1999 CHAMPION

p.s. Bite my a**!

HOPING FOR CHANGE?

Are we hoping for change? Or changing for hope? I don't know. Ask Larry Elder.
Click Icon To Listen

CONGRATULATIONS AND GOOD LUCK

(this was written in March of 2007 when the principal of my kids' school had a baby girl)

Dear Mr. C:

While I would never presume to give parenting advice to a new parent (especially since you know my children), I am amply qualified to give you some insights about what you've got to look forward to now that you have been blessed with a daughter.

It's been my experience that there is some sort of collective ignorance that occurs when males are together. For instance, two males of average intelligence, when together, have a combined IQ equal to that of a gnat. And a gnat that would go to school (if he went to school) on the short bus, if you get my drift. The more males in a group, the lower the collective IQ. This explains golf, Nascar and the Yenny house.

The reverse happens when women are together. So if you have two females of average intelligence together, they have an IQ of ... well, I don't know what. But trust me, it's WAY more than yours.

Put more simply, Mr. C, in your house it's now two against one. Check your ego at the nursery door and surrender now.

Next, accept a sort of constant state of looming bankruptcy. Everything is cuter in pink and its purchase will be hard to resist. But soon, it will be your daughter that will be impossible to resist when she wants something. It will start small, a Barbie here, a Barbie there. Then you realize you have more Barbies than relatives and they're EVERYWHERE. They are under the bed, floating in the bathtub, staring at you from across the room, lying on the floor when you are walking barefoot in the middle of the night.

Before you know it you're recharging the battery on a pink Powerwheel. And the Powerwheel is newer and more reliable than the car you are driving.

Your daughter will have the most fashionable wardrobe in the house, with accessories for every outfit. When she wants a Ford Mustang you will be nostalgic for the days when all she wanted was a pony.

The average man can give an accurate list of every shoe he has ever owned. The average woman can't list shoes that are currently in her closet. And guess what? She STILL doesn't have any to wear to the dance on Saturday night. And she has to go to the mall RIGHT NOW.

But it is all a small price to pay. You are now some one's hero and all you have to do is come home from work every day and provide occasional taxi service to the mall. You will be a genius for remembering 1st grade math. You'll be the go-to guy to put the training wheels on the bike and then again to take them off. She'll laugh at your jokes and insist to your wife you're a good driver.

(But save your energy because someday there will be science projects that your daughter will need help with and that will be your chance to be your wife's hero.)

And the good news is females are not the most scary creatures on earth. The bad news is the most scary creature on earth is the adolescent male that your daughter will someday insist she is old enough to go to the dance with.