A YENNY FOR PRESIDENT?

(written February 2008)

There was recently an email floating around claiming that everyone had one of the personalities from Gilligan's Island. For those of you too young to remember the TV show Gilligan's Island, trust me, you didn't miss much. It was kind of like "Survivor" without the good acting.

But it got me thinking of the distinct personalities of our presidential candidates and how each of them remind me of one of my kids. The more I thought about it, the creepier it got. Kind of depressing that my children reminding me of presidential candidates is "creepy" rather than inspiring, but oh well. It could be worse: my kids could remind me of someone from "Friends".

Jonathon is John McCain without the military skills or POW experience. However, John McCain did once smash his face with a stool to prevent a picture of him being used for propaganda purposes. Jonathon wouldn't hesitate to use the same technique to avoid being used as propaganda by his mother in the annual Christmas card. I am convinced that's why he plays rugby.*

Elle is not amused by any comparison to Hillary, but one can't help but notice their tenacity. Both share an uncanny ability to get what she wants regardless of reasons why she shouldn't get it. And the ability to spin a mistake into a reason why she should be trusted more, not less.

Barack and Nate share a certain joie de vivre. Both are likable and pleasant and are pretty good at saying the right thing at the right time. Each conversation ends with a warm, fuzzy feeling, but an inability to remember what the conversation was actually about.

When it comes to endearing quirkiness, it's hard to find better examples than Sam and Ron Paul. Both are absolutely certain that world domination is not only achievable, at some point it's inevitable. It's just a matter of waiting for everyone to reach the same conclusion.

And I'll end my comparisons here before someone notices that JY and Huckabee share a folksy charm. Because that will lead to the inevitable comparison of me to Dick "Darth Vader" Cheney.

*Jonathon has since corrected me. It was Vice Admiral James Stockdale that smashed his face with a stool; not John McCain. Oh well. 3 out of 4 ...