Monday, March 17, 2008

'BYE JONATHON

(published September 2006)

My oldest child, Jonathon, started college in August. When I say "started" I mean in the same sense he "started" kindergarten: he was driven to his new school by his family and dropped off. This time, however, the school was in New Mexico. And while I didn't have the opportunity to lurk in the hallway after he had been marched into class, I did spend the day watching him march all over the school getting himself checked in. The cadets ordering Jonathon around didn't have quite the command of Mrs. C and the day was VERY long.

A couple of things happen when one of your children leave for college:
1) The dynamics of the family change drastically
2) The dynamics of your checkbook changes even more drastically.

I'll address the first issue since you, as a parent of a child attending Catholic school, are already getting the skills necessary to deal with the second.

Chores. Before Jonathon left we told him to sit down and make a complete list of all the things he was responsible for in the house so those duties could be reassigned. Several months later Jonathon informed us that the following had been his responsibility since birth:

He took out the trashcans every single Thursday, except when he didn't.

A family meeting was called and the following rotating schedule was worked out: The 2nd son would be nagged to take out the cans starting Wednesday. Nagging of the 3rd son would start Thursday. Mom or dad would actually take the cans out to the curb on Friday as soon as they notice the cans are still in the backyard and the trucks are on the street.

So far so good.

Personality. We feared that Jonathon's absence would leave some large, gaping holes in the personality of the family, since many of his "quirks" were unique to him, baldness being a good example. The 2nd son, without nagging, has willingly taking on this role. The only daughter has been training for years in beginning all her sentences with "I need ...", so no worries there. The 3rd son has filled the "music guru" role, so Flogging Molly, Drop Kick Murphys, AC/DC and The Who continue to be played at decibel levels high enough to annoy parents, neighbors, the dog and passing motorists. We promise to do everything in our power to avoid any "punk" influences and the resulting style issues.

So ... we're in great shape! Jonathon's chores are being done and various family members are filling in the holes, we've got everything taken care of and everything's fine! Except when it's not.

He'll be home for 10 days at Thanksgiving and we can't wait.

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